Here’s a question for you, dear reader! Have you ever gone for a walk and randomly thought, “I wonder which STARDOM wrestler best describes each English Premier League team?”…oh, uh… just me then, it seems. Nevertheless, as someone who is very partial to both wrestling and football/soccer, and writes about both regularly, it was an intriguing question to ponder as I strolled through the local woods.
After some deliberation, I have come up with some viable options for which STARDOM competitor would be the best match for each member of professional football’s richest league. Being someone originating from the opposite bank of the Dee-Severn border, I could have easily talked about the glamour of the Cymru Premier, but alas not many (if any) of you readers are aware/care about Welsh league football as much as I do. Therefore, despite my Welsh bias, here are my STARDOM selections for England’s top flight and the reasons for my selections:
Arsenal – Saya Kamitani
- Considered the leaders in their respective divisions currently, having produced some of the best performances over the past seven months
- Have experience in creating record-breaking undefeated streaks during their history
- Sometimes prone to a gaff or two on the odd occasion, although this adds to their charm
Aston Villa – Natsuko Tora
- Spent some time away from their respective divisions before returning and reestablishing themselves as solid competitors
- Whilst perhaps not challenging for the big titles any time soon, they’ll probably pick up other successes now and again
- A tricky opponent for anyone to defeat
Bournemouth – Saya Iida
- Small in stature, are considered to be punching way above their perceived weight
- Spent time away from the division before returning refreshed
- Although they are prone to getting a heavy beating and often lose, they will always show their strength and determination to sometimes grind out a positive result
Brentford – Thekla
- Fairly new in their respective scenes but seem to be performing admirably in their new surroundings
- Although they’re not likely to challenge for the big titles any time soon, they often entertain, seem to improve every year, and can give anyone a decent match
- The neutral supporters’ favorite for their style and performances
Brighton & Hove Albion – Mina Shirakawa
- Once considered one of the weaker opponents in their divisions, they have surprised everyone with their vast improvement and success in recent times
- Always entertaining to watch, they could potentially win one of the lower titles/trophies in the near future.
- Have a penchant for identifying and bringing in new talent
Chelsea – Tam Nakano
- Flamboyant, extravagant, a little bit crazy, and always creating waves in the division
- Although they’re not doing so well recently, they are greatly respected for their past successes in the division and are still a feared competitor
- There is never a dull moment as a fan of theirs
Crystal Palace – Koguma
- Whilst not the most glamorous name of their respective divisions, they are solid and dependable
- Can always conjure up a big result against the bigger names when needed
- Known for a particularly iconic chant
Everton – Saki Kashima
- Although overshadowed by a close rival (Liverpool/Mayu), they still have their own long history of considerable successes.
- Can be beaten by anyone in the division, and sometimes get heavily defeated, but they can also upset the stronger names on their best days
- A cult favorite amongst the supporters
Fulham – Giulia
- Links to London
- Needed some time away from the division to recover before returning with a huge bang
- Will often change their look to suit the times, but are always fashionable and possess a loyal fanbase who will support them regardless
- Tony Khan is probably a big fan of both of them
Leeds United – Himeka
- An underrated powerhouse who can give anyone in the division a very tough and physical match
- Has a large fanbase who are very fond of their down-to-earth charms
- Expected to be gone from the division by May
Leicester City – MIRAI
- Achieved a famously surprising victory when no one was expecting it
- Another of the neutral supporters’ favorites for their work-rate and likable nature
- Fond of wearing blue
Liverpool – Mayu Iwatani
- Considered the dominant icons of their divisions in the past
- Have fans all over the globe
- Whilst they continuously win silverware on regular occasions, they seem to be slowly drifting away from challenging for the big one currently
- Very likely to make a clumsy mistake now and again
Manchester City – Syuri
- The most fearsome in their division with formidable, lethal attacks that can beat anyone
- Had initial success under Italian leadership before progressing to greater success
- Constantly win titles and are at the pinnacle of their division
Manchester United – Utami Hayashishita
- Formerly a strong and dominant champion in the division, they then suffered sometime in the doldrums after their successful period.
- Seem to be returning to their former power and getting close to challenging for titles again
- Fond of wearing red and have connections to a red rose
- Have had memorable matches against the dominant name in the division (Man City/Syuri)
Newcastle United – Hazuki
- After a period away from the division, they have returned to cause chaos towards the bigger names
- Possess very loyal fanbases
- Look set to challenge for titles in the near future after a long period of being unable to win the big matches
- Have some questionable links to ‘interesting’ characters in their backgrounds
Nottingham Forest – Kaori Yoneyama
- Have a huge and successful history behind them
- Always heartwarming to see them compete against the big names nowadays
- You never know which version of them will turn up from week to week
Southampton – Miyu Amasaki
- Touted as being the biggest talent in youth potential at one point
- Seem to have faded away in recent times and are struggling to find their place, but have recently shown flashes of their potential
- Have links to the English southern coast
Tottenham Hotspur – Maika
- Hugely popular and entertaining
- Known for being one of the strongest in the division who can beat anyone on their best days
- They always seem to agonizingly fail when it comes to important matches
- Big titles just seem to elude them
West Ham United – Lady C
- Whilst not the most successful currently, they seem to have a large and vocal fanbase that will support them even when they struggle to get wins
- Will sometimes find success in other areas of competition (Europa Conference/New Blood)
- Sometimes struggles to find their place in their new surroundings (London Stadium/QQ)
Wolverhampton Wanderers – Momo Watanabe
- Were once considered to be exciting prospects, and have achieved great success in their respective histories, but seem to have underperformed in the past few years
- A change in management has now improved their chances and they seem to look like a very difficult opponent to defeat again
- Fond of an impressive-looking strike or two on occasion
So, do you agree with The Ninety Fourth’s selections for each English Premier League club or are there other STARDOM wrestlers that you pick? Please let us know your opinions, or suggestions that you would have picked for each Premier League or even your own football team, in the comments section below. Alternatively, contact us via our social media channels. We would love to read your suggestions!
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